Tell It To Al

Now this could be a show: Larry David and Will Ferrell bring a claim against JPMorgan Securities, lose, and get whacked with a $634,000 fine.

Only this would be a reality TV show because it really happened. Click here to read the details in the New York Post.

FINRA, or the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority, which is the self-policing agency of the securities industry, ruled against the comedians’ complaint and fined them. Man, would I love to hear David and Ferrell go off on this:

What do you mean by self-policing?  What do they do? Put on a blue suit and whack themselves with a night stick?

FINRA? Isn’t that the Egyptian god of sharks?

What kind of rigged panel is this? They want $634,000 just to tell us to go pound sand?

Jay Santangelo did what a lot of consumers do these days: He went online to write about a bad customer experience he had with an RV rental company.

The rental company, 3C’s RV Rental, also doing business as RV Rental of Denver, fired back with a cease and desist letter. The letter demands Santangelo remove the posts and replace them with apologies, or the company will sue him for defamation.

There is this thing in our Constitution called the First Amendment. But lawyers tell me most people in Santangelo’s position often find it easier to just remove the posts than fight. Even a meritless lawsuit is expensive to fend off. But Santangelo isn’t backing down.

Click here to read why in my column on the Runaway Vacation.

U.S. Sen. Charles Schumer has done it, again.

As a result of his agitating, the Food and Drug Administration is reportedly poised to ban caffeine from alcoholic beverages. Click here to read more in The Wall Street Journal.

I poked fun of the senator while attending one of his press conferences on the streets of New York City where he was railing against the dangers of Joose and Four Loko.   

These beverages cause a condition known as “wide-awake drunk,” which I suggested was better than the dead asleep drunk we get from the folks in Washington. 

Click here to see my video and column.

Kidding aside, there’ve been a number of deaths attributed to people jacking themselves into oblivion with these drinks, and the FDA is apparently seeing things Schumer’s way.

Congrats, Senator on another victory for the consumer. Sorry about the obnoxious question on the video.

And now how about going to have to go after those new Starbucks that also serve alcohol? Nothing like shotguning a double espresso with beer and wine.

While governments around the globe impose austerity programs, President Obama has been defending yet another move by the Federal Reserve to prop up the U.S. economy.

Flooding the world with dollars so far seems to have stabilized the U.S. economy, but at what cost? The world is watching, and wondering, ‘what’s next?’ Does U.S. financial audacity know any bounds?

Click here to read my column in The Sunday Wall Street Journal. And click here to read a draft report from the co-chairs of President Obama’s deficit commission. The commission has listed a lot of great ideas, but so far can’t agree on any of them.

Have the bedbugs really taken over New York City, and are they actually spreading across the nation like an ancient Biblical plague? Or is it a lot of media hype?

Meet Mark Hill, a humble exterminator until about five years ago when he annointed himself the Bed Bug King. He says the critters now account for the majority of his business in a city full of rats, roaches and other vermin.

Click here to read my column on the Bed Bug King. And if you really want to be creeped out, click here to check out this video of a mattress Hill’s company came across in Manhattan.

Vanguard founder John C. Bogle considers himself living on borrowed time since having a heart transplant about 14 years ago.

He’s been using that time to set some things straight about the market and the checks and balances needed to prevent self-dealing people from ruining it for everyone.

At 81, Bogle just released his ninth book, “Don’t Count On It: Reflections on Investment Illusions, Indexing, Capitalism, ‘Mutual’ Funds, Entrepreneurship, Idealism and More.” Click here to read column.

During a recent visit to New York City, I ran across this guy who calls himself the Bed Bug King.

Mark Hill, who runs a family extermination business, took on the title five years ago as bed bugs began infesting the Big Apple at an alarming rate.

He told me about this video his company put on YouTube after servicing a bed bug infestation on the Upper West Side.

Worst bed bug job ever, Hill said, and the guy sleeping on this mattress said he never felt a thing.

Anyway, I’m working on a column about bed bugs, so if you have any bed beg stories please share them on this blog.

Within 15 years, one in five licensed drivers will be over the age of 65, according to the National Transportation Safety Board. Click here to read more from The Associated Press.

We will be a nation of blue-haired racers, hauling our mobility scooters in the trunks of our Cadillacs, just like they do Florida. And the roadways will be slowed with aging Baby Boomers clogging the left lanes – because that’s just how their parents drove when they got old. 

I’ve always thought there should be a mandatory age where driving priviledges are revoked. It’s not a popular position – and now that I’m getting older, I’m starting to think that age should maybe be 90.

Or maybe, just maybe, we’ll finally have cars that drive themselves.

Why did Hewlett Packard boot CEO Mark Hurd? Board members didn’t think he was telling the truth as they investigated his alleged sexual harassment of an former porn star turned H-P contractor, according to The Wall Street Journal.

I talk about it with Eric Kahnert of Denver’s 9News.

If the last election was about jobs, Republicans, Democrats and even Tea Partiers are missing the point:

You can’t ship off all the jobs to China and India and wonder why unemployment is hovering around 10%.

U.S. companies were shipping our jobs away when times were good. What do you think they’re going to do when times are good again? Unemployment has been above 9.5% for 14 months, with few signs of relief in sight. It is not just a product of the great recession. It’s a product of globalism.

Companies hire labor wherever it’s cheaper. Click here to read more in The Sunday Wall Street Journal.