Tell It To Al

We could have bailed out California with all the money that taxpayer-subsidized nine banks are handing out in bonuses.

If you have a strong stomach, you can read all about it in this Wall Street Journal piece.

Otherwise, here are a few highlights, which were uncovered and released to the public by New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo.

* Even though these nine banks each played a role in destroying the global economy, and required a rescue from the federal government to the tune of billions, they gave their executives nearly $33 billion in bonuses last year.

* As the WSJ piece points out, this is one-third larger than the budget of California, which is the 8th largest economy in the world, and needs a federal bailout in the worst way.

* Nearly, 5,000 bailed-out bank employees are getting bonuses of $1 million or more.

* Six of the nine banks are paying out more in bonuses than they earned in profits.

Wall Street apologists argue this is the kind of dough it takes to retaint talent. It takes a pretty sick ego to apply the word “talent” to these bankers, given that they required taxpayer assistance to keep from going under after years of pass-the-debt gamesmanship.

I suppose, however, that it indeed takes at least a certain kind of talent to loot the U.S. Treasury and divide the plunder right before our eyes. Reminds me of the title of a book about the old savings and loan crisis: “The Best Way to Rob A Bank Is To Own One.” Times have changed since the S&L days. Now all you have to do is have a  job there.

Shouldn’t you have some kind of degree when you are playing around with radioactive waste?

The chief operating officer of Perma-Fix Environmental Services Inc., which manages low-level radioactive and hazardous waste, has finally resigned after misrepresenting his academic credentials. But that wasn’t the company’s first answer to this question.

It’s another victory for Barry Minkow, (pictured left) a former felon who makes a living shorting stocks and ratting out executives who’ve lied on their resumes. I’ve written several columns on Minkow, founder of the San Diego-based Fraud Discovery Institute, including this one where I turned him into a verb.

I have been amazed, though, at the number of executives who have survived the Minkow menace, including a top executive at CSX Corp. Click here to read more about that case.

Most of us would be fired if someone found out we had lied on our resumes, but maybe not if we work in the C-level executive suite, where the guys in charge like to pretend they can do no wrong.

In the end, Perma-Fix’s Larry MacNamara wasn’t as lucky as some of other Minkow targets, who’ve gotten off with a slap on the wrist, if even that.

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I am looking forward to hearing what former Qwest Joe Nacchio has to say when he gets out of prison in a lot fewer than the six years to which he was sentenced.

I say this because we have never fully heard his side of the story – just bits and pieces that were not allowed into the court record.

After his guilty verdict on insider trading charges in 2007, Nacchio said three words to me on his way out of the courtroom: “It’s not over.” And indeed it’s not.

Nacchio, who has always maintained his innocence, won a small victory today from the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals in Denver. Click here to read the details in the Wall Street Journal. Bottom line: His prison sentence is likely to be reduced significantly as will the $52 million in stock sale proceeds he was ordered to forfeit.

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The recession is not over.

All we can say is that the economy is not crumbling as rapidly as it was. That’s not exactly the end of a recession, but it is a good sign, or at least a comfy resting point before the next leg down.

Economists and analysts who are paid to cheerlead are doing just that. I talk about it with Arianna Huffington and investor David Barse, and Fox Business News’ Alexis Glick.

Click here to see Part II of the panel.

GDP numbers came out today showing the economy only shrank 1% in the second quarter vs. 6.4% in the first, and 5.4% in the fourth quarter of 2007.

There’s some hope for positive GDP in the third quarter, but it will be meaningless against the backdrop of 10% unemployment.

I’m not sure when Ruth Madoff will be back in the market  for a car, but I couldn’t help but notice this sign while driving around Denver this morning.

The wife of imprisoned Ponzi-schemer Bernie Madoff may be down to her last $2.5 million after federal authorities seized all the assets they could tie to the crime.

Nevertheless, the trustee appointed to oversee the Madoff bankruptcy case is suing Mrs. Madoff for nearly $45 million, claiming she received “fraudulent” transfers of her husband’s ill-gotten gains over the years.

Irving Pickard, the trustee appointed by the U.S. Bankruptcy Court in New York, ”is alleging that she should have to give up her remaining money even if she was completely unaware of her husband’s crimes,” Mrs. Madoff’s attorney said in a statement.

Pickard wrote in the lawsuit that it’s a simple matter of equity: “While Madoff’s crimes have left many investors impoverished and some charities decimated, Mrs. Madoff remains a person of substantial means.”

And if not, I’m sure they’ll be happy to take care of Mrs. Madoff at Just Right Motors.

The Securities and Exchange Commission wants $4 million from a former CEO, even though the agency does not allege the CEO did anything improper. Click here to read the column and watch me discuss this landmark case with Fox Business anchor David Asman.

When I wrote about Naked Cowboy last year, I had no idea he’d put himself next in line to become mayor of New York City.

Where do you want to be in five years? I asked the man, the myth and the legend, whose real name is Robert Burck, 38.

“In the biggest mansion on the face of the Earth,” he said. “One of many, where I fly from in a … jet, from castle to castle, and have huge parties with the biggest names in the history of the world, and everyone’s waiting for me to get there. And if I show up, they’re lucky.”

I did not put two and two together and conclude that this would mean the same position now held by Michael Bloomberg.  Click here to read the 2008 column.

Burck told me he was making as much as $1,000 a day, standing on Times Square in his underwear, boots and a cowboy hat, strumming his guitar and posing for photos with tourists. He was also suing Mars candy for trademark infringment because it used a blue M&M character dressed in tighty whitys on its animated Times Square billboard.

“Folks come up to me every day and tell me they’ve lost their life-savings, that their small businesses are barely getting by,” Naked Cowboy said on his campaign website.

“Fact is, no one knows how to do more with less than yours truly. …  It’s exactly the kind of leadership this city needs during these challenging times.”

Darrell Creswell and Joseph Degesualdo wanted to dot the American landscape with Starbucks vending machines. Instead, they are now suing the coffee maker for more than $100 million. Click here to read my column. In the video below I discuss the case with Fox Business News’ David Asman.

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Just ran into Jim Collins, author of best-selling business tomes, “Built to Last,” “Good to Great,” and “How the Mighty Have Fallen.”

Collins and I were doing separate TV spots at the local Fox News studio in Denver, so our meeting was quite by chance.

I can’t tell you how many times someone has asked me, ‘have you read ‘Good to Great?’”  Collins’ books about what makes comapanies succcessful have been a force of nature.

He is probably the famous guy in Denver besides John Elway and John Scherer, who does the Video Professor commercials on TV. So, being the celebrity hound that I am, I felt fortunate to able to ask for his thought for the day.

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Chicago Cubs’ bankrupt owner, Tribune Co., is talking about filing a Chapter 11 for the team.

A Major League bankruptcy is almost as rare as a World Series victory for the Cubs. I talked about it with Shawn Patrick, anchor at Denver’s NBC affliate 9News. Scroll lower for a replay. And click here to read my column on bankruptcies.

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