Market Talk

Here’s a press release from JPMorgan so soaked in sanctimony, we feel damp just reading it. Here’s the headline: JPMorgan Chase Announces New Programs for Military and Veterans.

Bottomline, JPM made some foreclosure “mistakes” with military customers for which it “deeply apologizes” and pledges to make amends. How heroic.

It’s a great thing to be helping veterans and military families. They deserve it all the time, and PR stunts “initiatives” like this shouldn’t happen just because a big bank gets called out for bum foreclosures.

- “We have the specter of Greece’s finance minister insisting really, no really, it will never ever default, or default via restructuring,” Yves Smith quips at naked capitalism. “Now given the unfortunate accident of timing, these protests sound awfully Dick Fuld like, although the better parallel is probably Mexico, which kept insisting in 1994, no way, no how would it need to restructure, despite having a lot of dollar denominated obligations and an untenable currency peg,” she adds. “And it was OK, until it wasn’t.”

- As chatter ramps up about new stimulus plans, FusionIQ CEO Barry Ritholtz has his own ideas for what he would do if given $1T to stimulate the economy. “Some folks believe the government should do nothing, spend no money, focus on balancing the budget,” Ritholtz says. “But is the ideal time to begin a new diet and exercise regime when you have pneumonia? The time to reduce the government’s economic deficit and footprint is during a robust expansion, not during (or just after) a contraction.”

- S&P 500 still hasn’t eclipsed its August highs, but market breadth has indicated underlying strength in the September rally, Bespoke Investment Group says. About 80% of S&P 500 stocks are trading above their 50-day moving averages, which is higher than last month. “This isn’t quite to the highest levels seen over the last year, but it’s getting close.”

- “It takes jobs to create households, and usually housing is the key driver for employment growth in the early stages of a recovery,” Calculated Risk says. “So this is a trap: the excess supply means weak employment growth, leading to few new households, so the excess supply is absorbed slowly — putting off more robust employment growth.”

- JPMorgan Chase (JPM) finally issues a formal apology for the web problems that plagued its online banking service earlier this week. “We are sorry for the difficulties that recently affected Chase.com, and we apologize for not communicating better with you during this issue,” JPM says on its website. The apology is notable as many bloggers and folks on Twitter had criticized JPM for its failure to properly communicate this issue with its customers.

- Google Voice cofounder Craig Walker is leaving his role as a manager of real-time communications at Google (GOOG) and returning to his entrepreneurial roots. Walker, who was previously chief executive of Grand Central and renamed Google Voice after its acquisition by GOOG in 2007, will become Google Venture’s first resident entrepreneur, TechCrunch reports.

- “With two strong divergent opinions on gold and low implied volatility levels, this could be an excellent time to buy options in order to establish speculative long or short positions in the metal,” Bill Luby writes.

- All Things D blogger Kara Swisher doesn’t sugarcoat her thoughts on Yahoo (YHOO) CEO Carol Bartz. “Her actions in regards to the Internet giant’s Asian relationships are about as bad as it gets these days.”

- Poverty rate climbed to 14.3% last year, while those lacking health insurance rose to 50.7 million from 46.3 million. Incomes fell slightly as households relied on government and family aid to weather the recession.

- For the city that never sleeps, take a look at some of Central Park’s midnight runners.

Newswires’ Marshall Eckblad reports:

Bashing bailed-out banks is becoming a booming business for the nation’s small banks.

“Why should Texans bank with out-of-state carpetbaggers?” asks a new ad campaign by the Texas Dow Employees Credit Union. Another of the lender’s ads excoriates the U.S. mega-banks for “taking taxpayer money and paying themselves billions in bonuses.”

The ad continues, “We respectfully suggest they head on home and make their profits in their own backyard.”

There’s certainly no shortage of public rage being directed at large banks these days. And some Main Street banks think they can use that rage to poach some customers.

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